I'm Back from "The Experiment"

I went on a little journey. It was all in aid of research. I used my body as a scientific experiment. I am here to tell you all about it.

People often say that if you just relax and listen to your body and stop worrying about what you eat all the time things will balance themselves out and you will loose weight and get to your ideal size. Don't stress!

They also say this about potty training. If you have tried everything and that clever little one still won't use the potty then back-off. Give him time to sort it out himself. Don't stress.

Well these people are wrong.

I relaxed and let my body sort itself out and guess what. It turns out that my body is just as messed up as my brain. It wants to eat constantly. That makes it very happy...well... except my knees, they don't like lugging all that extra blubber around. But my bum and all the rest of me is very happy to get bigger and bigger. My chin(s) is beside itself with glee. Yup, my body has been so happy that I relaxed and let it do whatever it wanted. It never once sent out an "I'm full" signal. Nope. It just kept saying "feed me", "feed me now". So I did in the hope that this magical thing would happen that people speak of. It never did and I am pretty sure it never will.

I don't know what will happen with the potty training. I am still doing all this relaxing and just letting it go stuff ...and so is he... right into his diaper. He shows no sign that he will ever sit on a toilet. I assume at some point his brain will kick in that pooping in your pants is gross but, hey, you never know. All those people that say he won't go to university in a diaper could be wrong. We shall see.... That experiment continues. Mostly because I have no idea what else to do. He is three and a half by the way....

So the body self regulation experiment is over. The hypothesis was disproved. My body has no balance. No "off switch". The tank is never ever full. I cannot get enough of a good thing etc. My brain has to turn back on, assess the damage and get back in the driver seat. It totally sucks.

Here we go again. My body is so sad. It was having such a good time.

The damage:

• 180 lbs (yikes)

I need to lose about 40 lbs. Ugh! How am I going to do that?! 

The old fashioned way - try and try and try again. I am counting calories. I am also trying to cut back/out carbs. Definitely the bad carbs. I never really eat those anyway. I also need to cut out all sugar. That is a hard one. I really do not eat a lot of sugar. The two main sources though are the two main sources I hate to lose the most. Wine and Chocolate. More often than not the two go hand in hand and at the worst time of the day. Just before bed. Sooooo bad. I know. But soooo good. 

I have already made some positive changes. My partner and I have a hard time getting home from work and getting dinner together while dealing with the never ending wants and needs of our little guy before sending him off to bed. We often fail and end up ordering take-out or eating super late at night. (Thus the 180lbs...) I have started using a local company that helps you to prepare a bunch of meals ahead of time. I go for a one hour session every couple of weeks and come home with about two weeks worth of pre made dinners that just require cooking. They do all the shopping, prep work, cleaning up and, most important, thinking. It is actually really great. I assemble the meals in their facility during the one hour session which is actually ideal because then I can tweak the recipes a little to suite our tastes (I can't eat onions so I just don't add them). It is easy and so convenient. The food is really delicious and pretty nutritious. Just the sort of thing I need to get this whole thing to work. And best of all they have worked out all the nutritional information for each of the recipes so I can easily monitor the calories I am taking in. Yeah. 

A few more good little tricks like this and I will be well on my way to making a permanent change to my life that will make this whole thing easier. Which is really all I want. I just want to be fit and healthy and happy and not exhausted from the effort of being that way. I want to do other things with my day than constantly worrying about losing weight after all. 

Sorry body, you failed the test. Brain - it is up to you now. I know you can do it. I think....

The Good, The Bad and The Pudgy

Here is the update on how I have been doing. 

The Good
I managed to keep from drinking wine during the week. Truth is I came down with a terrible virus and had a very sore throat so drinking alcohol was pretty much impossible - but it still counts. Breakfast and lunch I stuck to the plan (mostly) and it was pretty easy. Dinners are where I fall a bit apart. I definitely had some good days though. The very good was that I competed in the dragon boat race I had been training for. We didn't win but we didn't come in last so that is something. It was hard work so I must have burned a couple of calories. Also, I road my bike to the competition and I did not collapse so I think I should be able to start riding to work again once this virus clears up. 

The Bad
I ate some meat and some dairy. I had pizza on Friday night because I was so exhausted and we had no food in the house. That is life. I am far from perfect. Pizza is going to happen from time to time. It was delicious if that helps. I may have eaten a little tiny bit of chocolate but it was dark chocolate and I put it on strawberries so that is not so bad  -right? 

The Pudgy
Well I did not loose a ton of weight. No shocker there. I did loose about 2 pounds all in all. Which is okay I guess especially as I did not really commit as much as I should have. Having this cold sapped me of all energy and will power and what little was left my toddler gobbled up completely. 

So that is the progress report. What to do now? Well obviously I have to try to commit more completely to this plan. Possibly ease up on the pizza and chocolate. Get back on that bicycle literally and metaphorically. 

The Plan

What is the plan? That is the million dollar question. Which is approximately how much I have probably spent on plans in the past. I have tried many things with varying levels of success. 

I joined the big WW when I was about 25 and had about 25 pounds to lose. It took several months but it worked very well. I was twenty five though and beyond the fact that I had a very physical job and tons of youthful energy I also had a lot more patience. I just don't think I can go down that road again. It takes so much effort....

I have followed a food combining plan which also worked very well. Especially because I could eat a lot of cheese and meat and fatty foods as long as I ate them in the right combination and followed all the rules. I never felt hungry or deprived on this diet so I have not completely ruled this plan out but I always had a sneaking nagging feeling while I was on this diet that the type of food I was eating was going to kill me. Too good to be true and all that. 

Before I got pregnant with my little guy I wanted to be in the best shape possible so I hit the gym very hard and went for some hypno-therapy to get my mind into the game as well. This was a good combination and along with being extremely careful with what I ate and cutting out all alcohol I got down to my goal weight before I got pregnant and continued to exercise and eat carefully throughout. As an added bonus the hypno-therapy came in handy during the delivery. 

So what is the "new plan". Here is the thing, I am older now and have far less energy and any patience I once had is exhausted by the end of the day. I probably should count calories to stay on track but I just do not want to. It is sooooo tedious. I have read Dr Fuhrman's Eat to Live and it sounds reasonable. I like the idea of eating mostly veggies and fruit. Intuitively this sounds reasonable. Cutting back on meat also seems sensible. I don't like it but I suppose I can eliminate most dairy for a while. I know that cheese should be a treat not a staple as I often have it. Most of all as long as I eat what he recommends I don't have to count or weight anything or think too much about it all. He starts you off on a six week plan to get things going with a bit of a jolt. So Nutritarianism here I come!

Here is a summary of the "rules" I will now be living by (mostly).

Eat as much as you want of:

• all raw veggies  (goal 1lb daily)
• cooked green and non-green  veggies (goal 1lb daily)
• beans, legumes, bean sprouts and tofu (goal 1 cup daily)
• fresh fruit (at least 4 daily)

Eat a limited amount of:

• Cooked starchy veggies or whole grains (not more than 1 serving or 1 cup per day)
• raw nuts and seeds (1 oz max per day)
• dried fruit (2 tablespoons max per day)
• avocado (2 oz max per day)
• ground flax seed (1 tbsp max per day)

Off limits:

• dairy products
• animal products
• between meal snacks
• fruit juice
• oils

Once through the six week plan things get a bit more relaxed and you can follow a 90 percent rule.  That is 90 percent of your diet should come from unrefined plant foods and the rest - the fun stuff - is 10 percent - mostly for flavouring. 

So there it is. The "Plan". Yikes! Am I going to be militant about this - no I am not. Life is short and I like food. But I figure if I stick to it most of the time it may work. That is the experiment I suppose. Wish me luck. Now I have to go and finish this nice glass of shiraz. (Oops!)

The Start

I guess I should begin with the cold hard (well slightly wobbly) facts. 

My measurements (gulp):
         Height - 5ft 6 inches tall
         Age - 43 years
         Weight - 175 lbs
          Fitness Level - non existent ( have joined a dragon boat team but i am pretty sure I am letting them all down)

Most of my life I have "struggled" with my weight. When I was younger I could gain and lose 5 lbs in a matter of days. It was pretty weird. I have always been thin - ish. The thing is I have always been hungry. I can eat and eat and eat. When I was a little girl I was naturally very skinny. All long legs and awkward. I was always hungry - did I mention that. But it didn't matter what I ate it never made a difference - I was still a stick figure. Then, over time things changed. Puberty I suppose. I had all that great body shame we put ourselves through. I ate sporadically. Maybe not anorexic but definitely not healthy. Days without eating. Other days I binged. But all along I have always been hungry. ALL THE TIME. Ridiculous. 

Obviously my metabolism has caught up with me over time. Weight goes on and it does not come off now. I have always struggled to be fit but with the whole becoming a mom thing I just can't do it any more. I need to get back on my bike but I am dreading it. Getting in shape sucks. Maybe some people don't think so but I do. It hurts. It is annoying. Boring. Time consuming. And it takes so much effort and energy. Ugh!

Okay, I am done my whining!  I need to get back to a sane weight again. 135-140 lbs. I am no spring chicken and I want to be here for a while for the little guy.... And fit into clothing again. So how shall I do it. Well, I have done lots of things in the past of course. I really can't bear counting calories and weighing food and such. I need something more reasonable. Less militant. Maybe I am being silly. At a time when my body is slowing down I somehow think I can get back in shape while doing less (and drinking wine). This  plan does not sound promising. Well, I guess this is an experiment. We shall see what happens. And if my body decides to cooperate.

Next post I will fill you in on the plan. (Gulp!)


         

Welcome to Big Mama Anonymous

So, apparently, I am now a "big mama", according to my husband soul mate at least. Nice guy huh. I thought that I would start this blog so that I could share my stories with you. You know, recount my harrowing tales of sorrow and turmoil as I try to grapple with my new reality of being a big momma - sob.

What I really want to do is motivate myself to lose some damn weight, and my status as a big momma, while still retaining my sanity  - and drinking the occasional glass of wine (or two or three). This blog is going to motivate me to get my act together, right?

Join along as I entertain you with my hilarious tales of triumph and defeat... and swollen feet. Okay, I am no poet. But I am the slightly older (43) momma of an absolutely adorable  2 year old little man. This has been a huge adjustment from my previous adults only lifestyle but I am starting to get the hang of it. Thus the wine....